Zip Codes

The U.S. Postal Service's zip code finder has always sort of boggled my mind. While it's a useful tool when you need to find someone's zip code, check it out and take note of the last field of information that it asks for. That's right--the zip code finder asks you for the zip code of the place that you're trying to look up the zip code for. On the plus side, it's not a required field, so I'm happy to report that I've found the zip codes of many places without having to provide the zip code in my request.

Quality Control

Last night I was polishing my shoes with my trusty rag and tin of Kiwi "Parade Gloss" shoe polish. I had chosen the "Parade Gloss" polish due to the fact that the name implied that it would be shinier than the plain black shoe polish that was sitting beside it in my drawer. While contemplating this choice, it occurred to me that my "Parade Gloss" polish was another in a long line of items that leave me scratching my head at how someone could choose a similar, but lesser product. Price being pretty much equal, is there any logical reason why I would choose the regular polish, which makes my shoes slightly less shiny? On the same theory, I don't think that I've ever purchased regular strength drain cleaner. If you're trying to clear a clog from your drain (and assuming that you legitimately want to fix the problem), doesn't it make much more sense to buy the professional strength? When an extra 40 cents is going to get you the best, you don't pass that up. That's why I stick to extremes when I'm doing my purchasing.

I Dislike My Neighbor and Myself

I hate the guy on my block who can’t seem to control a problem with his car horn, but I hate myself even more for my continuing reaction to it. This morning I awoke at 5:45am or so, and heard the sound of a car horn going off repeatedly, as many car horns do as a security measure when something sets them off. This happens probably every three weeks or so with this particular neighbor’s car, and typically occurs at the least opportune time possible (previous horn incidents have taken place at 2:30am and 4:25am, and yes, I’m a very light sleeper). This, of course, pisses me off, but my neighbor’s behavior doesn’t piss me off nearly as much as my own. You see, every time I hear the repeated blasts of the horn, I end up wondering if there’s some small chance that I’m the guy who’s being a jerk to the entire neighborhood. So even though I know in my head that the noise is coming from my jackass neighbor’s car, I end up getting out of my bed to look out the window at my own car to make sure that its not the vehicle waking up half of the block. It never has been, and it probably never will be. But I’ll always be insane enough to check.

160 Pound Tumor

Last night while flipping through the channels on my TV, I came across a program about a woman with a 160 pound tumor. To me, the concept of a 160 pound tumor seems pretty ridiculous. Didn’t this woman see this problem coming well ahead of time? I figure that if I had some sort of unknown mass that was, say, 20 pounds (and I’m being generous here), I might think to myself "Gee, there’s something that must be pretty severely wrong with that thing on my back that keeps getting bigger and bigger. Maybe I should get that checked out." At worst, I'm getting some work done at the 50 pound mark. But I’m definitely not getting to the point where most of my body weight is attributable to a massive tumor. I cut the woman some slack, since from the 3 minutes of the show that I saw, it sort of seemed like she came from an area without lots of access to quality health care. Nonetheless, we don’t have TV shows about people with 160 pound tumors unless someone is severely dropping the ball along the way.

Every time I read a review of a rap concert in the paper, it seems to say exactly the same thing: the marquee rapper was good, but his entourage of 18 people on stage who all had microphones and attempted to assist in the show ruined things. Oh, and the show was disappointing because it was only 45 minutes long. I’m never sure what to make of these type of reviews. On one hand, it’s entirely possible that rappers are truly oblivious to the idea that they don’t need 20 people backing them up, and are further unaware that a decent concert lasts more than 45 minutes. On the other hand, given the vast similarity in most reviews that I see, I’ve also come to suspect that the paper sends inappropriate reviewers to the shows and these are the only things they can think of to say. My guess is it’s somewhere in between.